Henri Nouwen and His Ministry of Companioning with Wil Hernandez Part V
Nouwen as a Spiritual Director
Henri Nouwen seized the practice of spiritual direction for his own sake and of the sake of others. He sought direction for himself when he needed it and gave direction to others who asked for it. Creatively, he was able to draw from its rich diversity of expressions while at the same time wisely focusing on its most fundamental thrust: listening to God.
As if to wipe out its rhetorical mist and in the process demystifying it, Nouwen—in his characteristic simplicity—boiled down his definition of spiritual direction to that of “direction given to people in their relationship with God.” God is the ultimate focus of spiritual direction. It is not jut a one-on-one but a one-with-one encounter. For Nouwen, “a spiritual director simply was someone who talks to you and prays with you about your life.” Nouwen focused on this crucial component of prayer which is the lifeblood of any true spiritual direction relationship.
As many practicing spiritual directors would attest, at the heart of the spiritual direction experience is the dynamic of prayer. Henri Nouwen painted the profile of a spiritual director as someone mature “from whom we can expect prayerful guidance in our constant struggle to discern God’s active presence in our lives.” As he explained further, “the prayer life of the spiritual director is the source of his or her own directing ministry. To be a spiritual director means to share one’s prayer with the searching other.” Moreover, Nouwen regarded prayer as “an outward, careful attentiveness to the One who invites us to an unceasing conversation.”
Fundamentally, Nouwen believed “prayer is an attitude of open heart, silently in tune with the Spirit of God, revealing itself in gratitude and contemplation.” In saying this he noted the primary thrust of prayer as that of listening and waiting. This involves the art of discernment. Henri Nouwen brings to our attention the reality that authentic spiritual direction “means that … people come together to listen to the direction of the Spirit.” The Holy Spirit must be acknowledged ultimately to be the real director.
As Henri Nouwen underscored, spiritual direction, “offers prayerful presence, wise counsel, and careful guidance by a spiritual friend who is sensitive to the movements of the Spirit …” In short, everything about spiritual direction revolves around the twin dynamics of prayer and discernment. In it, we pray as we discern and discern as we pray. What made Henri Nouwen the effective spiritual director that he was can largely be attributed to the fact that he refused to stray from these two focal points; instead, he relied heavily on the Spirit’s work to use the crucial avenues of prayer and discernment to effect inner change in people’s lives. He prayed and discerned out of a deep motivation in his heart to see this kind of change take place.
Andrew Dreitcer, one of Nouwen’s former students at Yale remarked: “We learned spiritual direction primarily because Henri modeled it for us. He showed us how to be the spiritual friend, the sacred companion. He offered us the space and time to be companions to one another.” Dreitcer’s words sum up the kind of versatile journey companion Henri Nouwen was to many people. He filled the oftentimes indistinguishable roles of a spiritual friend, a spiritual guide, a spiritual mentor, a spiritual director effortlessly. He was able to do so because this was precisely who he was—a well-integrated soul companion on life’s sacred journey.
 Along with being an author and spiritual director, Wil works with the Leadership Institute in partnership with the Denver-based Spiritual Formation Alliance Network as coordinator of the Southern California Spiritual Formation Partners. He also teaches courses on the spirituality of Henri Nouwen at Fuller Theological Seminary, Haggard Graduate School of Theology at Azusa Pacific University, and the Center for Religion and Spirituality at Loyola Marymount University. You can find his two books, Henri Nouwen: A Spirituality of Imperfection and Henri Nouwen and Soul Care on Amazon. You can also visit the website he hosts called Nouwen Legacy. |
Thanks for sharing, Willy. Yeah, I’ve been craving for a spiritual director for some time.
Wil,
I love the emphasis he had on prayer and discernment and discernment and prayer through the Holy Spirit. Thanks for the article. I’m enjoying the series of posts.
Hey Joe,
I’ll pray you’d be able to connect with one that’s a good match for you and where you’re at on your journey! All I can say is, follow your “craving.”
Thanks JR for hosting this. Although I did lose some posts when the server changed. Hopefully, they’ll come back.
PS JR,
Any chance we can re-post the 2nd installment (Nouwen as a Spiritual Friend) since it’s a bit messed up? (I got a lot of “complaints” about that part) and it happens to be the most favorite topic of all in the series)> Maybe it can be re-edited for typos and weird symbols that just appeared out of nowhere. Would u look into it if you have time? Thanks much!
Wil,
I have updated and corrected everything affected when the server was changed. Let me know if there are any other issues. Thanks again for your rich writing.
Many thanks my friend. One small thing: just delete the other “n” on this statement (2nd paragraph on the second installment):
For Nouwen, one of the most critical choices we can make inn ….
Thanks a lot Bro. You’re a kind host!
Last year I met with a spiritual director for a number of months.
I enjoyed our time together, however I found that she was mostly listening, and not directing much. She was not helping to lead me where God needed me to go. It seems that those skilled as spiritual directors are not easy to find in my neck-of-the-woods; or I’m not looking behind the right tree.
This is definitely an art to be experienced, not a clinical session. My best experiences of direction are where the director calls out what God is already doing, often times right in front of my face but incoherent. Book suggestions are always great too!
HI Joe,
A good director in fact doesn’t “direct” but facilitates the conversation. The best trait of a director is that of a good listener for only in attentive listening can he/she facilitate how God is choosing to move in adirectee’s life. I think that you’ve got a good one; at least a good listener at that. BTW, where is your corner of the world? You may want to try phone direction (but only if you can’t find a good match in your area!). Check http://www.henrinouwen/org.
Hey Jesse,
. And yes, book “suggestions” – something you can always count on! Great to journey with you!
Well said (speaking from experience, and I hope that includes your experience with you know who
Wil,
I enjoyed your reflections on how Nouwen went about Spiritual Direction and have enjoyed the series thus far.
Thanks for your gracious comments James. Read on!!!
Wil,
This part is definately to me the most meaningful chapter.
Where ‘Henri focused on this crucial component of prayer, WHICH IS THE LIFEBLOOD of any true spiritual direction relationship’.
I meditated on the word ‘lifeblood’, and Spirit for a while.
To Henri ” prayer is an attitude of open heart, silently in tune with the Spirit of God, revealing itself in grattitude and contemplation”
How ‘the primary thrust of prayer he noted as that of listening and waiting’
‘The ART of discernment’
How challenging…
Thinking of the ‘crucial avenues of prayer and discernment’ and how that can ‘effect inner change in people’s life’.
Spiritual direction, “offers prayerful presence, wise counsel, and careful guidance by a spiritual friend who is sensitive to the movements of the Spirit”, ‘who must be acknowledged ultimately to be the real director’ Especially how to learn to become more sensitive of what the Holy Spirit already is doing stood out to me.
How would Henri combine the ways and life of Jesus and the Holy Spirit together in his focus where he relied much on the Spirit? What are some qualities how to recognize a sound discernment?
Hi Sonia,
That’s a very good question Sonja! Jesus was so in tune with his Father that he had this unmistakable confidence that he was doing the will of Him who sent him. Likewise, it could be said of Nouwen that he was so in deep communion with God that he knew how God was working through others as he listened attentively to the movement of the Spirit. Only when we do so can we truly cooperate and be in step with God.
Wil,
I appreciate how you’ve selected important words like prayer and spiritual direction and offered Nouwen’s definitions of these terms. Sometimes those terms can be so abstract that it’s hard to wrap our minds around them, much less practice them well. In particular spiritual direction was helpful. I know for me it can be so easy to offer up advice/wisdom from the latest sermon I heard or what someone else told me along the way when I struggled with a similar issue. That’s not necessarily a bad way to do it. But a good spiritual director (it seems) listens to the person then and there and seeks to listen to the Holy Spirit in that moment. In order for that to happen relationship is required. Relationship with the Holy Spirit and one another.
Any other thoughts you might have?
Hello Dustin,
You’re right on track Dustin. The big difference in SD (as compared to counseling, therapy, etc.) is that it’s not about advise-giving, information providing, nor fixing the person. The director never ever imposes his/her own journey to the directee but knows how to listen well to the Spirit’s movement into the directee’s life such that he/she can facilitate the discernment process and response of the person being directed. Ultimately, it’s the directee who should arrive at the discernment NOT the director; he/she merely “facilitates” the process in cooperation with the HS. That’s why in SD, patient listening in silence is a huge thing!
Wil,
Sorry for my slow reply.
My “neck-of-the-woods” is southeast Missouri; a community of 4,500. Eight miles away is the largest community of 35,000.
The gal I met with as a director was a lay lady in the Catholic Church. With my being a protestant pastor, I felt at times that it wasn’t the best match.
Joe
Joe, I remember now. That’s why you’re close to Conception Abbey. I did a Nouwen weekend retreat there at Lee’s Summit last year with Dan Wilburn’s Lakeland Community Church. I also direct someone there via phone. Yes, chemistry is key in spiritual direction. I’ll pray you’ll find a good match with someone else God may direct you to.
Gandang Araw Po! Indeed it is refreshing reading your space. As I’ve mentioned to you before, living here in an environment where I’m a minority would truly make your spirit numb or maybe not connected to most of the people around you. One of the most effective way for me to sustain my “spiritualiy” growing or “alive” is to be mentored by people like Henry in an unconventional way. Right now, i am learning to listen well to people who are not on the same boat with me.
I’m doing this hoping that later on i can invite them to journey with me. My new friends here have lots of questions which i cannot give an instant answer in one or two sentences…but i’m okay with that… right??? One question i had yesterday was…”I cannot understand why many people believe God” coming from 10 year old boy…
Great to hear from you Miriam! This much I know: God will reward your steps of faith and your endurance while ministering where you’re at right now. Glad to know too that Nouwen ministers to you through his writings. And you’re right about not being an answer person. It’s OK not to have all the answers. The best thing is to stay connected with the people and journey with them patiently. It will not be in vain! Be encouraged Miriam!
Kuya Wils: Thanks for blogs like this (and Facebook!)…a never-ending wanderer like me (literally, since my work uproots me all the time even before I get to set-up the pegs of my tent) can experience meaningful and needed conversations with a few ‘virtual’ spiritual director-mentor-friend-companion’ (like you). There really comes a time in your life that one craves and sense a desperate need for somebody to come alongside (even via online means), who will remind me of “God’s active presence in my life”, in the midst of all the noise, activities, doubts, struggles, etc. and especially during times that I don’t see His hand at all in what is happening around me. It’s very easy to get ‘lost’ in all the chaos, and to confuse well-meaning advices of well-meaning “friends”, best-selling authors and popular personalities with God’s direction. Thanks for reminding me to pray, wait, listen and discern with another who is also in the same journey of seeking Him and His will.
Thanks also to JR for creating this site (I already bookmarked your web address and now reading your blogs on a regular basis, as long as I have net connection).
It’s great to hear from you again Tita after a long , long time! God is always actively at work in you whether or not you sense it. His presence is manifested everywhere if you care to pause, listen, and see with the eyes of faith. Glad to know that we can still journey together wherever we may find ourselves in. All the best to you!
KW