Coping with Depression in the Church with Matt Rogers – Part III
A guest post by Matt Rogers, a good friend, an author, and pastor at [nlcf].
THE “SIN” OF DEPRESSION
Depression a spiritual weakness?
One time I shared from the pulpit about my struggle with depression. I talked about my routines of 40mg of Celexa daily and 45 minutes of psychotherapy weekly. After the service, a deeply concerned parishioner questioned whether I, as a pastor, ought to speak so indiscreetly about my “sins.”
I was stunned. On this issue of mental illness in the church, How, I wondered, have we come so far, yet gotten nowhere at all? Do people really still believe that depression is a sin?
Apparently so: Not so long ago, during my four-year spell of severe depression, a friend told me, “Depression is natural, but it really isn’t trusting God.” And now, as a pastor, I often meet depressed church members who’ve been told by some well-meaning friend, parent, or Bible teacher that their struggle is a spiritual weakness.
Nonsense such as this is why I dedicate much of my time to educating the church on mental illness. So many people in the pews wrestle with their moods, and we, their brothers and sisters, have tremendous power to help or harm them in their fragile state.
Do we add to people’s pain?
In his endorsement of my book, Losing God: Clinging to Faith Through Doubt and Depression (InterVarsity, 2008), author and activist Brian McLaren says, “Depression is far more common in our churches than many of us realize, and too often our churches unintentionally make the suffering even worse.”
Yes. That’s why I put my story in print, to help us as the hands and feet of Christ on earth to heal people’s pain, rather than add to it. I’m grateful to JR for giving me space and time on his site to blog about this issue. It affects so many of our friends, probably more than we know.
How to treat victims of depression
Perhaps a good place we can all start is by remembering a couple of good and golden rules: Treat others as we’d like others to treat us, and be quick to listen and slow to speak. Applied to this issue, that means listening to, not lecturing the depressed. It means that if we don’t know why a person is hurting, we close our mouths so as not to swallow our feet.
What are some other ways we can help the hurting, and why is it that we in the church so often jump to the “spiritual weakness” explanation for depression? Feel free to add your comments to the discussion
 Matt Rogers is co-pastor of New Life Christian Fellowship [nlcf] at Virginia Tech. He is the author of When Answers Aren’t Enough: Experiencing God as Good When Life Isn’t (Zondervan, 2008) and Losing God: Clinging to Faith Through Doubt and Depression (InterVarsity, 2008). Learn more about his writings and his blog at his website.
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As someone who has struggled with depression also, I think one of the most crippling things about it can be the sense that you have lost your sense of purpose and your connection with God, and can no longer hear or feel his presence.
For me, the most valuable friends at times like these, are those who help you to know that God IS still there, still loves you, and can still be trusted – no matter what – regardless of medication, how you are functioning, and no matter what the inside of your own head looks like, or how you are feeling.
Sometimes I think we label depression as a spiritual weakness, because then there is less likelihood of us falling into it. If it is something that we can label as a weakness of the other, then it is something we can convince ourselves we are strong enough to avoid.
Pride is at the root of so much of our behaviour. We are proud of our achievements, proud of our families, proud of our spiritual life. We are proud that we have not ‘fallen’ into this trap.
But, you see, if depression is not a weakness, if it is not something that can be overcome by sheer determination of the will, then we are left without defences. Then, it can happen to anyone, even us.
This, I think, is a big reason so many people avoid this discussion. It hits a little too close to their own fears.
Matt
I’m looking forward to this series.
Hey all. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate the interaction on this very important topic.
Why? Sometimes it is a pre-occupation with giving counsel… Sometimes it is impatience, the struggle to speak before having listened, understood, entered into the depth of pain… Sometimes it is a misunderstanding about depression Biblically… Sometimes it may be hyper-spirituality… Sometimes, as Matt pointed out, it exposes the reality of their own struggles and fears. Usually people have a genuine desire to help… rarely are the motives improper – but just the same, those words often cut deeply and wound. I’ve been there – on the receiving end and on the giving end – when I wish I had kept my mouth shut and just cried with them.
Why? Because the head of the Church is Jesus Christ and we often think that if one part of his body is “sick” then that part is not connected to the head because He is perfect.
I can resonate with that Susan. The Scripture says we are all to suffer when one suffers and to bear one another’s excessive burdens because we are all inseparably related to one another within one body…
Ooh, Susan, I like that. Hadn’t thought of it that way before. Makes sense.